Musings of Me

Little Five Points

In Atlanta, Saturday nights are spent out. Whether your tastes are into stargazing with your honey at Fernbank Science Museum, getting freaky without your honey in a club, or enjoying dinner and downtown with your peeps, there is always something to do.

One recent Saturday past, I was invited to the Little Five Points Tavern in the city. A far cry from the High Museum of Art and the Fox Theatre outings of weekends past, I was in the mood for juvenile delinquency served on tap.

'THE PLAN' was simple. Meet at appointed bar at nine. Chill out with my friend Maria and her friends, while showing her visiting New Orleans brother a good time. Drive home happy. Observe them hung over on Palm Sunday at church. Laugh.

There is nothing like a simple plan.

Once I made it to the bar* I was welcomed by Maria, her brother (New Orleans Chris), a really nice girl (Nameless Graphic Designer), Katie (Noczema Model), Matts 1 and 2 (Associated Boyfriends), and Another Guy. The evening started off slowly, with introductions and a large platter of assorted fried foods.

After ordering myself a high gravity beer (Beer conveniently instilled with 3 times the alcohol of regular beer, and tasting more like wine), I watched New Orleans Chris slam his 4th Irish Car Bomb (Apparently he is a pro). He was competing with 65 pound Nameless Graphic Designer. Apparently a challenge had been issued before I arrived, with GiGi the overzelous waitress presiding.

I just had to lead an inquiry into his herculean consumption of alcohol. "Well, Chris, aren't you going to puke now?" I am so tactful after high gravity beer. Actually in general, but we can blame the beer. I leaned over to gauge how bloodshot his eyes were.
"Nope. I can handle my alcohol. Hey, why aren't you on your second drink?" Apparently I finished my beer too quickly. Time for my heart-renderingly sad speech. "I have to drive myself home. I'd better not." Helping myself to something else deep fried, and trying to find a tactful way to bring up the Spawn tattoo on his calf, we suddenly zoomed in on the other side of the table where the conversation was making headway.

"...and anyway, Katie, you really do look EXACTLY like that girl from Smallville!! What was her name again?" Matt1 was musing aloud about Lana, I think. I wouldn't know, I have only seen Smallville a few times.
Nameless Graphic Designer jumped in. "I've seen that!! Maria, don't you think it is soft porn?" After the rest of us finished choking (Males) and laughing (Females), she continued, "Seriously! The entire show is that really hot guy and that girl that looks like Katie always acting like they are going to hook up, but always pulling away. That is ALL it is. there is no other plot. What is with that?!" Horns were locking.
"NO!!" Matt2 leaped to the defense of Smallville. "It is quality programming!!! It is the early life of Superman!!!!" I think this particular argument was made impenetrable by virtue of Guiness.
"The last episode was about a dog. A DOG with super powers!!!" screeched Nameless Designer Girl. She had masterful control of her vocal range.

Another Guy quickly interceded for Matt2 before he dumped Nameless Designer Girl over a dog. "That girl is really pretty. Isn't she half Chinese?" Murmurs of awe.
"Yes!" New Orleans Chris affirmed this with a nod and clink of his Crown & Coke. "She is half Chinese and half Swiss."
Matt2 was duly impressed. "That is it! We marry the Swiss and the Chinese and kill off everyone else! We have the perfect race! Take that, Hitler!!" More laughter.

At this point Nameless Graphic Designer (a blonde) began a crusade to order Matt2 the most disgusting drinks he would drink in his defenseless drunk state (IE - the 'I get free drinks!' state). Eager for a conspiracy, we girls huddled over a menu to see what our options were. Overzealous GiGi, I might add, was practically chortling with glee and rubbing her hands together with anticipation.

To make a long story short, we ordered some drinks that were absolutely abominable, and some that merely sounded that way. We watched them consumed with the efficiancy born of drunken euphoria. Nameless Graphic Designer's grin became larger with every drink, and she kept a written list (complete with drink ingredients) for the next day. They really are a cute couple.

To date, the Smallville argument has not been resolved. Matt2 will never again willingly drink anything with yaeger, grenadine, and amaretto combined. Nameless Graphic Designer has begun watching Smallville. New Orleans Chris has returned to New Orleans appreciative of Atlanta nightlife, while Katie and Matt1 are training for a half-marathon. Maria has joined a monthly drinking club, and I simply had to attend an exhibit on frogs from around the world.

Welcome to Atlanta, where the Players Play.


*Everything went accordingly save my being on time. I shall elaborate:

8:15 PM - I leave the house and begin my 7 mile drive to the bar. It should take 20 minutes at most.

8:30 PM - I think I must have missed my turn, but continue on from mere curiosity. If I get lost, at least it will prove educational.

8:40 PM - Look!! Skyscrapers!! And the Fox Theatre.... Golly gee, downtown Atlanta is certainly pretty. Such a pity I am not supposed to be there.

8:45 PM - Call Sister and demand a list of every road name my road is listed as. Turn around and hope to find it.

8:50 PM - Find road, turn. Discover Little Five Points is an 'alternative' area complete with neon crossbones. I realize I am not punked out. And to think I could have spiked my hair.

9:00 PM - Find my bar after driving up and down the strip repeatedly. Move on to finding parking.

9:05 PM - Park about two miles away, in a poorly-lit obscure area. Distribute belongings everywhere save the purse. Clear throat in case I need to shriek, and arrange keys in claw-like distribution for both hands. I may be paranoid, but the last building I had passed had an entrance that was a giant skull.

9:20 PM - Walk into bar. Announce my presence. Introduce myself to the waitress, GiGi.

posted by Jill @ 1:42 PM