Musings of Me

Taxes

This is the first year I have ever had to do my own taxes, and I cannot say I relished the experience.

I knew I was in for it late January, when my mother cheerfully mailed me one of my Michigan W-2 forms and a Michigan tax booklet. Inside the booklet, emblazoned cheerfully in red ink on a post-it note, was a little snippet of advice from her to me: "Uncle Dave's phone number is *** if you have any questions."

Uncle Dave is a tax attorney. At least I think he is.

After groaning rather loudly to anyone who would listen (which was the chihuahua, who only was there because she thought my grumbling preceded food), I sat down and made a list of what I had to remember for my taxes.

TAX LIST
1. MI MTU W-2
2. GA Retail Hell W-2
3. GA Insurance Company W-2
4. Student Loans form 1098-T
5. Tuition and Fees form 1098-E
6. Something chocolate
7. Uncle Dave's number
8. TaxACT (my brother-in-law's tax program which will help dummies do their taxes)

After painstakingly reading over my list and deciding I had all documents which could theoretically get me a deduction or credit, I decided to begin. My only other options for a rainy Georgia Sunday were to either help 'improve' the shed in the backyard, or to watch Nascar. Taxes it is.

'Tax Blitz' Sunday at a glance:
10:00 am - throw cat on floor.
10:30 am - throw cat in hall
10:45 am - leave for church
12:30 pm - eat
1:00 pm - watch two minutes of Nascar (no accidents)
1:02 pm - sit down at computer with paperwork and decide I need a break
1:05 pm - decide I need alcohol to continue, but remember I don't really like alcohol
1:10 pm - 3:00 pm - Enter information, alternately yelling at the screen and even getting the adoring chihuahua to abhor taxes
3:20 pm - go buy cream-filled donut
4:00 pm - declare initial victory with a sizeable Federal refund
4:01 pm - caught victory-dancing to "Rich Girl' in kitchen by family members
4:05 pm - decide how to spend refund (IE, shove unceremoniously in savings account)
4:10 pm - dance around with the Chihuahua (who is once more adoring)
4:22 pm - decide I will tackle MI and GA state taxes and double-check my calculations at some point before April
4:30 pm - shower
5:00 pm - eat
6:00 pm - 11:00 pm - watch TV (My splurge. Actual TV). I just KNEW Patty on the Simpsons was a Lesbian.
11:10 pm - throw cat on floor

Sadly, while groaning about taxes is something I have become a pro at, I am not the only one. Whining about taxes and pawning them off on others has practically been an art form since there were taxes. In my family alone, let us travel back through time.... Beginning from most recently, my family's tax history may appear something like:

I once made my mommy do mine.

She in turn handed them off to Uncle Dave.

I'm sure, back in the day, my dad made his parents do his.

Some relative in the Civil War probably politely asked somebody to do his- at bayonet point

Pissed about retroactive taxes, someone probably went to a party in Boston.

Back in the old world, some relative probably defaulted on his taxes and was shipped over here (Australia wasn't opened yet, I assume).

In Biblical times, my family were probably slaves, and traded as taxes.

In pre-Biblical times, my ancestors may have been deemed too annoying and chattery by the powers in charge, and punished by being sold into slavery.

-Somehow, I wouldn't doubt it.

posted by Jill @ 12:48 PM