Musings of Me

Parrot Finds Love

I was at the Post Office mailing a package when I noticed the sign across the street. It was big. Bold. Inviting.

It was a sign advertising the store, Petland.

Remembering I had a cat, and that my housemate was getting increasingly pissed with him, I thought it would be prudent to zip over and find him a toy that didn't belong to her cat.

This is quite an interesting story. You see, Whiskers (her cat) is a big, neurotic, black cat who likes to meow, hiss, and run around looking traumatized. Jonesie (my cat) is orange, laissez-faire, and never stops purring. His vocal activities include changing the volume, pitch, and tone of his purrs, with the occasional chirp or trill thrown in to indicate pleasure.

In our home, which is increasingly becoming Wild Kingdom, there also lives Jazz (Sister's chihuahua) and Duchess (Brother-in-Law's cat). Jazz is the stereotypical dog who thinks she is a cat. She is the same size and color as Jonesie, loves catnip, and gets along famously with everyone (save Whiskers).

Duchess is the dramatic foil to Whiskers. She is equally large, yet elegant. She has long, white fur, a regal disposition, and even if she does not approve of what the Orange Ones are doing, she doesn't scream about it as though it were an attack on her person.

What makes this even funnier is that we all agree our personalities match our pets' personalities.
There obviously has to be a perception difference in there somewhere. Really.

Regardless, while Whiskers is yowling on top of the refrigerator at Jazz's effrontry of being in the same room as she is, Jonesie is stealing her mouse toy from her room. While the yowling increases, Jonesie and Jazz chase each other for the mouse, and before one can laugh at the hilarity of the situation (or at Whisker's discomfiture) Jonesie has been unceremoniously thrown INTO his room (an ironic twist from me throwing him out of it) and put into time-out by Whisker's owner.

It has to be annoying that another cat steals your cat's toys, so regardless of my personal feelings for Whiskers and her owner's idea that my cat is deliberately out to torment her cat, I shall nip this in the bud and purchase a nearly identical toy for the Orange Ones to share.

With this in mind, I entered Petland, and completely forgot my original errand. This isn't because I was staring at the psychedelic neon fish (there was an eel, too!!), nor because the puppies were adorable. I, my friends, was being wooed by a parrot who simply couldn't get enough of me.

If it weren't so damn funny, it would be disturbing. I have no idea what he found so fascinating.

He kept following me around the store, repeating "I love you!" in a very loud voice. He acknowledged no one else, but fixated on me. For half an hour the entourage of Bird and curious customers followed me as I browsed 99 cent stuffed mice and the eel. During this time Bird proclaimed his love for me twelve times, told me I was pretty about five, and came dangerously close to clinging on my arm. I was half-expecting him to propose marriage.

Either this is a clever bird eager to go home with me, or his trainer specializes in luring in women as the firm basis of his clientele (Given a month with me, I guarantee you Bird would be speaking differently).

As much as I enjoyed toying with the idea of an adoring pet proclaiming "Jill rules," and quite possibly "Laura is a dork," the last thing we need at home is more hot air.

I purchased the mouse and left him with an "Its not you, its me." I hope he finds another.

posted by Jill @ 9:20 PM