Musings of Me

Shopping

Most people really don't devote much thought to the local supermarket (unless one attends Grand Valley State University or Michigan Tech, where, pending age 21, 24/7 convenience doubles as the local hangout).

While not sobbing over the loss of my cheap-ass university Wal-Mart (and it wasn't even a super-Wal-Mart), I have suddenly found myself fond of one particular store. Publix.

This Publix is five minutes away from where I work. It has a sandwich bar, a sushi bar (only in the city can you find this), and discounted ice cream. Because I head there every day for lunch, the employees have started to become familiar with me. One employee in particular has become my nemesis (on the plus side, my lunch hour is always guaranteed to have drama).

It started in the express lane. Armed with my sushi tray and chopsticks, I decided to be friendly with my checkout clerk (I have friends who worked in that position. They all claim it sucks, so I try to be nice).
"Hi. My name is Jill. What is yours? I see you every day!"
"My name is Kevin. You always eat better lunches than I do."
"What do you usually eat?"
"Potato chips and candy."
"Yeah, mine is better."
"So, do you work near here, since you are always in my checkout lane?"
"Yes, I work by Perimeter Mall. Are you a student?"
"No, I am working here part-time while I pursue careers in my degree."
"You have a degree, that is great! I am doing the same thing. What is your degree?"
"Physics. What is yours?"
"Biology."
"HA! You are a loser!"

This. From a physicist. I will not be mocked by a mere physicist (anyone else is fine). I CAN DO MORE THAN RESEARCH WITH MY DEGREE! (Well, not that much). He is basically a wannabe engineer (apparently with the same people skills as an engineer)! HA!

In any case, his last comment was uncalled for and childish. And stupid, considering he was facing an equally childish college grad armed with splintery wooden chopsticks.

Let's just say I did a lot of gesticulating with those chopsticks, punctuated with shrill-going-on-shriller protests of his put-downs of my career. I believe I did some slamming of my own, complete with some insult geared towards Schroedinger's equation (which I probably butchered. That is a physics one, right? Involving a cat in a box?). All in all, it was kind of fun. I enjoyed the stress-relief.

Now, whenever I warily enter Publix, I am on lookout for Kevin. Sometimes they place him in different locations around the store, resulting in surprise attacks. Recently I found myself tiptoeing down the cereal isle, all to no avail. If you have ever seen Scrubs on TV, our relationship is like JD's with the janitor. I wanted to be the janitor. Dammit.

To make my torment complete, he has even begun to mock my car. At least I have a car (or rather, a KIA).

I find it amusing I now have a favorite supermarket, complete with resident idiot. This raises the bar on shopping for groceries.

posted by Jill @ 10:36 PM